I never thought it would be possible for one person to say two things of this magnitude in the same day.

Lindsey was sitting in the recliner, blinking furiously.

"Lindsey, what's the matter?"

"I opened my eyes too hard."

Later that night in bed she was rubbing and batting her eyes. I stared at her for about 60 seconds until she said, "My eyes are easy to open. They're slippery."

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