Everyone needs to listen to the song on this site. I live in Stanly County. This song is a lie. It's quite hilarious, though.

The new Bad Religion album isn't coming out for a couple months, but I've already heard it. I didn't like it very much. Maybe it'll grow on me. Again let me say that I don't agree with their anti-religion tenet. I enjoy their songs attacking injustices in the world and all the problems with politics and such.

Well, I found out that Bethany is still alive. She messaged me the other day when I was away. I miss her.

I haven't updated in a while. A lot of things have been going on in my life that have had me feeling down, and so I just haven't felt like sharing them with the world. I'm very depressed at the moment. My teachers think I have "senioritis." I wish. Just because someone can't concentrate doesn't mean they're lazy.

I can't sleep. I seriously think I'm suffering from insomnia. I'll have been up for 24 hours, I'll go to my bed and try to sleep, but two hours later I'll still be there, turning and worrying. It's really starting to affect other aspects of my life. Sominex® doesn't help much anymore, either.

I've been reading a lot. I finished Vonnegut's Hocus Pocus and I read Night and The Catcher in the Rye again. Now I'm getting deep inside My Name is Asher Lev. I like it a lot so far. I'm definitely going to read some more Vonnegut over the summer.

I think I'm getting better. I'm still feeling bad, but not like I was a couple weeks ago. For those of you still wondering: a girl and I were in a relationship that got fairly serious for a while. Certain factors made it difficult to remain as we were, so we eventually had to stop it. I wasn't happy about it; she means a lot to me.

Now I find myself wondering all sorts of things. Will anyone ever love me again? Am I worthy of anyone's love? Could I live the rest of my life without ever being in another relationship? Will that be the case?

Some of those scare me. I'm a very shy person. I wouldn't even know how to approach a girl I felt attracted to. The relationships I've been in previously all just sort of happened. No one really tried to make it happen, it just did.

But, yeah, I was pretty depressed for a while. I didn't realize that I was showing it until a couple people on campus commented/questioned. I haven't felt this particular sort of sadness in two years. It's certainly one of the worst. You suddenly just feel lost and alone. There's always a certain dependency when you're in a relationship. When the relationship ends, a large part of your world is jerked away and you just feel confused and hurt. Times like this is when your faith really helps a lot, and takes away those feelings.

Yet, I guess there are certain times when there's nothing you can do about a situation involving other people, so you either change yourself or change situations. I'm not going to change.