I was just thinking about something. I haven't been interested in a girl in a long time. I think I know why: 95% of the time it's a bunch of nonsense. When I was younger I was desperate to find someone. I'd say between the ages of 15 and 19 I really wanted to find a girlfriend. Some of my friends could attest to this. Back then, I had never had a real girlfriend. Sure, I had a couple "girlfriends" in elementary school, but we all know that doesn't count. I wonder whatever happened to Miriam (and Matthew for that matter). Anyway, I had never had "love". For some reason I wanted it very badly. I had severe crushes that produced depression and the standard, mediocre teenage poetry of angst. I wanted all those things movies, television, and music tell us are necessary for happiness in life.

After a two year relationship, I realized so many things. The foremost is that real love between two humans is rare and even if you think you have it right now, you may very well be wrong. I've also realized that relationships (even good ones) are not all they're cracked up to be. I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self to stop trying so hard; it's not worth it in the least. Good friends nearly always last longer than so-called significant others.

So my conclusion is that I don't care about finding a girlfriend right now. I'm not going to be looking for one. I'm not even going to try until after I'm done with school and get settled with that life transition (finding a real job, building my own house, etc.). I have no want of that hassle at the moment. If one seeks me out, that may be a different story, but I'll deal with that highly unlikely event in it's happening.

But, in the subject of likely events, if I'm ever sent off to prison, I want everyone to donate as much as they can to this organization.