I don't think a lot of people realize how important the Internet really is.

I called this entry "We the People" because that's what the World Wide Web is. I truly believe it's the most powerful thing in the world right now. It's more powerful than this stupid government and all the hateful people in society. The reason is simple: it's nothing but people interacting with other people in an "environment" that is nearly complete free and open. It has the power to make everyone who uses it better. The World Wide Web has the ability to make the world better like nothing before it.

School is keeping me very, very busy. Thursday night I studied a long time for a test to be taken the following morning. I did well, much better than most of the other students. I was glad I studied. Studying is a new concept to me. I never had to in high school, and all my college classes up 'til now have been as cake. Oh well. I missed a couple questions about SCSI, to which I now know the answers. I mean, the SCSI bus can tolerate eight devices per channel, but you have to count the SCSI controller card, so the answer is, of course, seven. What an idiot I am. I also use too many commas.

It's been cooler the past couple of days. I'm glad Fall will be here soon. I love the last three months of the year; college basketball starts, there're several birthdays in the family, the weather is great, and there's no shortage of holidays. I can understand why people might consider me "old fashioned". I attribute it to my rural upbringing, which I’m thankful to’ve had. If you’re not from around here and you visit, you’ll soon learn we have about 100 extra contractions.

Well, I'm sick. Nothing big: head all heavy, sore throat, and things are either dripping or clogged. One of those deals. I average about one sickness a year, so I'm right on schedule with last year's Fall sinus infection.

I'm not complaining. I feel fortunate that I rarely get sick. And it wouldn't be right for me to grouse about something such as this that seems so insignificant compared to what others are going through. For example, Warren Zevon, who died yesterday. He abused that body and it finally had enough (although I'm not sure if his illness was caused by his lifestyle). Even so, and despite the fact we knew for over a year that it was coming, it's still sad. "Enjoy every sandwich."

In unfortunately related news, the mother of one of my good friends is dying. I wish I could help her, you know, actually be able to do something about it. I never know what to say and it makes me feel like an idiot because I really wish I could help. But, I just don't know what to say. I pray for her of course. That's really about all I can do. One day my heart will stop, too. I just hope I'm ready.

I rarely cry. This morning when I heard Johnny was gone, I did. Not because I have some fascination with his celebrity or any other trivial reason like that. Any friend of mine knows that I'm not like that at all. I did so because over the past few years he became as close to an idol anyone in the media can come for me. I still remember hearing my grandmother's Johnny Cash album "Any Old Wind That Blows" when I was little. It's right over there; I'm looking at it now. I was never a fan of country music. But, for some reasons that are now clear, I always liked Johnny Cash. He's a great man. He made great music, which I'll love for the rest of my life. The world has lost a maker of real music. He was also true in his faith, which I admire greatly. I won't apologize for this sentimental entry. He deserves every bit of respect you can offer, and so the least I can do is share my emotional response to his loss. I never knew him, but through his music I felt like I always had. I'm hoping I'll meet you one day, Johnny, but I'll miss you until then. Thanks.

I was just thinking about something. I haven't been interested in a girl in a long time. I think I know why: 95% of the time it's a bunch of nonsense. When I was younger I was desperate to find someone. I'd say between the ages of 15 and 19 I really wanted to find a girlfriend. Some of my friends could attest to this. Back then, I had never had a real girlfriend. Sure, I had a couple "girlfriends" in elementary school, but we all know that doesn't count. I wonder whatever happened to Miriam (and Matthew for that matter). Anyway, I had never had "love". For some reason I wanted it very badly. I had severe crushes that produced depression and the standard, mediocre teenage poetry of angst. I wanted all those things movies, television, and music tell us are necessary for happiness in life.

After a two year relationship, I realized so many things. The foremost is that real love between two humans is rare and even if you think you have it right now, you may very well be wrong. I've also realized that relationships (even good ones) are not all they're cracked up to be. I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self to stop trying so hard; it's not worth it in the least. Good friends nearly always last longer than so-called significant others.

So my conclusion is that I don't care about finding a girlfriend right now. I'm not going to be looking for one. I'm not even going to try until after I'm done with school and get settled with that life transition (finding a real job, building my own house, etc.). I have no want of that hassle at the moment. If one seeks me out, that may be a different story, but I'll deal with that highly unlikely event in it's happening.

But, in the subject of likely events, if I'm ever sent off to prison, I want everyone to donate as much as they can to this organization.

As much as I would love for Isabel to make its way here, it looks like we're only going to get the edge of it. That sounded sarcastic, but I really do like hurricanes. I don't remember which, but one hit the Gulf coast when I was in Pensacola. It was apparently a big deal; everyone was preparing and making a fuss about it. I couldn't wait.

Well, the new Pennywise CD is even more mediocre than I thought it would be. I don't know what they're doing. The most popular song from their last CD was "Fuck Authority", which I don't understand. It's so childish that it's funny. When I heard it for the first time I thought about a Pepsi commercial. They were my favorite band for a long time, but not anymore.

My uncle John is to be sent to Iraq in January. He has to report in next Saturday. The first week he'll be in Monroe, then a month at Fort Bragg, then Polk in Louisiana until Christmas. After Christmas he'll be sent to Iraq where he'll be on foot patrol. I'm not all that worried considering the chance of him getting killed is low. But, it could change between now and then.

I'm worried about school. I'm not sure what I'm going to do after this spring. I need to go talk to Mr. Oittenlflisorkvbp or whatever his name is. All I know is that if I'm going to go after that four year degree then it's going to be at least three more years before I finish. I've already been out of high school for three years, and another three (or more) years in college seems like an eternity. I want to map out exactly what I need to do. I just need to talk to someone that knows about this stuff. I'd really like to go to Pfeiffer since it's so close. I could still live at home which would save tons of money. Speaking of money, if I don't get some type of financial aid I might not be able to go through with it anyway. But, from what a teacher at Norwood Elementary said recently, it shouldn't be that difficult for someone who wants to be a teacher to get aid. I just wish I had all the answers. I'm very worried at the moment.

I felt horrible this morning. I don't know if it's an underlying sickness, or some space parasite, or what. Whatever the case, I didn't feel like going to class. It's not as if I wanted to miss my two classes today; I've grown to hate being absent (no doubt shocking to high school chums). It's my first (and hopefully only) absence in those classes.

Complaining about school wouldn't be complete without mentioning my networking class. I failed a quiz today in this class; the first thing I've ever failed at this college. Our teacher is trying to cover far too much material. I hate this class very much. I wouldn't take it, but for some insane reason it's required even though my major has nothing to do with networking. I honestly don't care what my grade turns out to be as long as I pass the course and never have to read about IEEE 802.3, OSI layers, or UTP, STP, or any other blasted type of twisted pair again. I can think of nothing more uninteresting than networking.

I'm still worrying myself with everything I wrote about last time. So many questions continue to present themselves. Which university will I eventually end up attending? Which classes will transfer? How long will it take? What exactly will I teach? What age? What if I want to teach at the college level? Will I even be able to get the money to do this? How tough is it going to be? That's just the beginning. I know I want to teach. I can't imagine myself doing anything else except becoming a reclusive writer. I can't even write. I want to teach. I know I would be good at it. I wish I had started on this path right when I graduated high school. If I hadn't met Samantha, that's exactly what would've happened. I might've even been near completion by now. I can't go back and change that, though. I sure have a tendency to ramble, don't I?

And I'm pretty sure it's not going to stop. I feel like my childhood is quickly moving into ancient history. I don't want to forget it. That's a mistake too many make. The reason for this odd prattle is Jeremy's wedding on October fourth. It's hard for me to believe that he's getting married. We're supposed to be little kids having fun, practically standing up in the car during that last mile of the drive to Myrtle Beach, and discussing comic books on Grampa's couch on Christmas Eve. That's how I'll always remember them. I have thousands of priceless memories collected over the past twenty years. I guess I'm just sad that it'll never be the same. I'm very happy for him, though. I'm glad he found someone that actually loves him. Like I've said before, that's a very hard thing to do. I hope they're together from now on. I really, really do.

I don't know why I'm so nostalgic. I always find myself missing the past. I wonder if that means I'm unhappy with the present. I don't think so, because I've always been this way. Yesterday I walked nearly ten miles, and a lot of the time I was thinking about Pensacola. I don't know if it qualifies as irony, but I think I miss that place more than I miss Samantha. I could write many, many pages about every little spot I miss; the colors, smells, the texture of whatever was under my feet, sounds...it seems like every little place you miss has its own special emotion attached to it. When I think of our little private place on the beach I feel one way, and when I think about walking the hot, vacant roads to get there I feel another way. I miss dodging traffic to get from Goofy Golf to Pizza Hut. I miss her room. I miss picking up pinecones in the back yard and playing with Ono. I really miss the flight down there. I miss Christmas in Pensacola. I even miss those barking dogs. I could tell you a thousand more things and have a page for every one. I wish I could forget all of it sometimes because it hurts so badly. Oh well, what can I do?