There are certain days when your emotions really get ahold of you. Maybe you had a dream about someone or something, and you woke up knowing that entire day would be spent thinking about that one particular thing and you'd feel that horrible feeling all day long. And you just feel like killing yourself. This is one of those days. I have a seven-year-old pain in my heart.
I just finished a picture of Carlyn. I was bored out of my mind, so I figured I might as well try to draw again. I started at 9:30. I sat on the floor, he was on the couch watching television. I sketched the basics for fifteen minutes and spent the next couple hours in my room watching TV while I did the details. The last thing I drew before this was this horse for Sam on December 28, 2000. I consider myself decent. There's certainly tons of room for improvement. I can look at something and draw it fairly well, nothing special, but I can't draw anything from memory. I guess I got it from my dad. He can draw really well. I'd sure love to paint, but I suck at it. I'll just stick with pencils. Anyway, here's the drawing. Screwed up the mouth. And everything else.
It's 3:40am. There's yet another thunderstorm kickin' around outside. That's the thing I'll miss about summer. There's nothing like being in bed trying to fall asleep with rain beating the window and the occasional shake of thunder.
You're probably wondering about that hottie to the left. I've always really liked Emily Dickinson. After many years of suffering today's typical female, the likes of Emily make me want a time machine.
If I could travel to a time which none recall,
Free from the superior's grasp, no longer as time's thrall,
Simply displaced to when none think me familiar,
Lonely Heart I would seek out and soothe her tender quiver.
Pity escorts the pain produced by this impossibility,
Emotions which you suffered much that I long to free,
From parted hearts, from glances lost, anguish enters every instant,
Sorrow spawns from time departed, rendering life amiss.
Your mind is such as evergreen, beautiful and constant;
Imperfections dot the noble form that is your body,
And so it is the worst burden that prevents your due splendor,
Intangible items birth the want that hinders.
There're a couple links I need to post. The first is emotioneric.com. Some parts are kinda lame, but it has its moments. Have you been sucked into the patriotic trend? Then you'll want one of these.
She does not stop, she does not want,
but to follow my steps.
Asking not my past, or noting my flaws,
apathetic towards contrast.
flesh indebted to every breath
a person can't await to shimmer
to pause as such is done for death
the light of life grows ever dimmer
Orientation for my online class was this morning at nine. It was raining very hard, I could barely see. Only three people showed up. Near the end of the orientation one of the guys kept going on and on about the blackout being caused by a hacker. He spoke at length about that blaster virus or whatever it is. He said it was some guy that was fired by Microsoft and was pissed at Bill Gates. According to him, that guy started the virus and also caused the power failure in the northeast. Highly doubtful, but very interesting.
So classes start Monday. I'm going to have a load. I'm looking forward to finishing school, which is a long way off. I did something today that's quite a rarity: I shopped. I needed some things, so after Stanly I stopped by Wal-Mart, Office Max, Hibbett Sports, and Sam Goody.
You wouldn't want to purchase things with me. I hate shopping. And I dislike those girls that "love to shop!!!!!" It seems people only care about material things. I know that's an unfair generalization. But, everywhere I go, people are wearing $40 shirts and $70 pants. It's sad, yet laughable at the same time. What are they missing in their lives that make them need such frills? I think most people like that try to dress with the trends so others will think fondly of them. How incredibly stupid—wasting so much time, energy, and money so people of equal ignorance and insignificance will like you a little better. It's a shame, such a waste. Maybe they're so rich that they don't care how they waste their money. Yet, if I were rich I'd still wear the same plain clothing. I couldn't care any less about fashion. If something is so good, why must it change every few months? I wish I could live with a few select out in the wilderness. That reminds me. I saw this lady being interviewed on the news about the blackout in New York. She did nothing but complain. How self-centered and weak. People today are so pathetic and pampered. They need to live in pioneer conditions for a year so they'll appreciate our luxuries and the people who lived, and still live, without them. If your power goes out, don't whine and moan about not being able watch your favorite television show or chat online. Just shut up, read a book, and be thankful you have your senses.
Piercing words emerge too quickly
And linger on too certainly,
Taunting the mind to brawl
And daring to recall.
After all this time the moon still casts.
The light reflects just as it has
since British soldiers rushed with yells
and met the mud where they coldly fell.
The colossal sea still beats the shore
with the same immensely strident roar.
Water runs salty where rivers drain,
and blackened clouds, still loud, remain.
The stars compliment the evening chill,
while wind carves the sand still,
as wings in which again contest—
birds the gusts of time forget.
Flowers advertise the life they carry
as the flush of Fall fails to vary,
and the snow to follow does thus,
As cold and pale as anything ever is, or was.
The first week of class is going OK. It's been very busy, as I said it would. They're doing some heavy work on 52 so it takes me quite a while longer to make my way to and from school. I don't really mind, but the parking at the school really needs some additions. The second day of class I arrived on campus at 7:45 and all of the spaces in each lot were taken. I think they're going to add an area behind Whitley, which would be great considering all my classes are there.
As for the specific classes, they're not too bad. E-Commerce looks to be simple, especially since Leslie teaches it. Separately all of them are fine, as a whole they present quite a "load", as I keep calling it. Internet Protocols and the Networking class are the ones that will give me the most trouble (I've had very little experience in these areas).
I continue to receive virus e-mails in my Yahoo account. Some are easy to spot by their odd address, subject line, and/or file size. The seven delivered yesterday all had a file size of 97-101k. Here's what my Bulk folder looked like this morning. It amazes me how many people open e-mail such as this; inexperienced I suppose. I was surprised that blaster virus didn't make its way to my computer. I guess it was my IFC. I had my computer on for 11 straight days, during which the virus scare came and went, and I saw no sign.
Nothing else worth mentioning. More boring entries to come.
I just got back from my first tutoring session. It went really well. I was working with a guy named Robert. He's probably around 45-50, so it wasn't that big of a surprise that he knows little about computers (I don't claim to know a lot, but I do think I know more than the average person). So we went up to Whitley and luckily found an empty room. We sat there for about an hour going over the basics of Word, the Internet, and a few other things. He seems like a pretty nice fellow, even mentioned that he likes Jerry Clower (old country comedian). So anyway, he's just going to call me whenever he needs help with stuff and we'll meet up there.
The other person I have right now is a girl who I've yet to meet. We've e-mailed back and forth a couple times to decide when to meet for the first time, which will be this Friday. I actually like tutoring people. Since I want to be a teacher, it gives me a little experience.
So, yeah, I've been really busy over the past week and a half with all these classes and now this job. Any of these entries I write will probably be few and far between. Very few people other than myself read them anyway, which is fine by me considering I only write them for future reference/nostalgia. Speaking of nostalgia, I saw Stephanie Tucker and Jeremiah today. Just one, or two rather, of those passing glance and greet events.
Proof that MTV is a bunch of crap: Missy Elliott beat Johnny Cash.
I watched twenty minutes of MTV last night, the most I've watched since 1998. I only turned it on to see if Johnny Cash was going to be there, and watched the end to see if he won. But, of course, he didn't. MTV has to look after its own interests after all. It's very ironic that a television channel devoted entirely to music could fail to give recognition to someone who's been so incredibly influential to the music world. I'm not even a fan of country music, but I like Johnny Cash. When he dies, MTV better not jump on the bandwagon and praise him, because they never cared before. This is just one more fact to add to the already convincing pile of evidence supporting the truth that is to say MTV is pure crap. I detest MTV and all its little brainless followers. It's clear that their primary objective is to please the mindless dolts who actually think MTV is worthy of one second of their attention. Why please mindless dolts? They often spend lots of money on stuff they do not need. I pity all who favor MTV's reckless abandonment of thought. Perhaps that seems an overly simplified assessment, but that's their core problem. I hate MTV, which is why you may be wondering why I care at all. I care because I hate seeing people foolishly waste. They waste their time, they waste their money, and they waste their lives. But, nothing I say will really do anything about it. It just pisses me off I guess. I don't understand how anyone can find MTV or any of the other concepts composed of that trendy web of triviality important. For the rest of us who enjoy free thought/free will, it's an insult to our minds and the senses that supply it. MTV is like the lint trap in your clothes dryer: gathering all the little insignificant specks. I really hate MTV. Johnny Cash is more valuable to the world than every feminine boy band, pop princess, and dim-witted rapper that has ever appeared on MTV combined.
I just got back from visiting my Grampa (I know it's "Grandpa", but we say it with an m down here). He told me about when he was in the army and air force back in '49-'51. He was all over the place. He and Grandma were in Orlando for a while, and he said back then it didn't seem much bigger than the size of Albemarle now. Grandma would just reach out the window and pick a couple oranges for some juice at breakfast. He was also in London, Boston, Puerto Rico, and a lot of other places. He told me about this guy that was drunk one night and wouldn't shut up. Grampa had tried to get him to leave several times and the drunk guy finally got him so aggravated that he hit him. He aimed for the side of his face but the guy was moving all over the place and it landed on his temple. He fell right over the table, knocked out. My grampa's a really nice man, so it takes a lot to get him to do something like that. I love hearing about the past. I get extremely nostalgic all the time. I don't know why. I guess that's why I love history so much, also. I hope Papa's with us for a long time to come. He's 75 right now and in good health, so I might get that wish. Yeah I know this isn't interesting to anyone else, but oh well.
