I had a big test in my programming class today. I think I did well.

It was hard to get up this morning; I didn't get much sleep. Carlyn and I played a little basketball today like we try to do each day. He's been saying for months that he wants to be a basketball player. Every time we talk about it I tell him that he can do it. Just keep practicing and play on the school team the rest of middle school and then in high school. I know he can do it if he'll just keep on trying. He's getting better all the time.

Sometimes I feel so frustrated. I'm 21-years-old and I'm still nowhere near realizing anything. Sometimes I feel awake, but then I have moments when I realize I'm still just an ignorant child. And time continues to hurry. It keeps speeding up. I can't decide what to do with my life. Sometimes, I'll have just finished watching The Deer Hunter, or another great movie, and I'll want so badly to be an actor. Other times, I wish I hadn't stopped playing guitar, or writing poetry. Sometimes I want to be a writer. And sometimes I'm fine with how things are going. I'm not satisfied with being an average person. Everyone wants to change the world. I know this is impossible. I'm just wondering if I'll ever make any kind of impact on anything worth remembering. Sometimes I feel so frustrated.