I found an old letter I had written to England in 1996.

Dear England,
      We don't care about the royal family, so could you please stop sending us news? Thanks.

                         Sincerely,
                           The United States of America

You know what I don't like about Easter? I don't like that we celebrate Christ's resurrection (if you even remember what the holiday is actually about, that is) with gluttony. I hate it. When I have children, if I do, we will not celebrate Easter by stuffing ourselves with candy, meat, and ice cream. I don't think I want to have baskets and presents, either. I want my children to associate Easter with the true reason we commemorate. And even though we may have family get-togethers, I would rather them also associate the holiday with family and love than eggs and pastel candy.

Have you ever had the following experience? You know and like a someone. You think you know the person well enough to validate this liking. You've known the person for a good while and maybe even consider them a friend. Then suddenly, out comes from their mouth something that shatters your perspective. Maybe it's a racist remark or something horribly perverted. Whatever it is, you lose your mental grip on that individual. And maybe in turn this makes you question other people. You think you know someone, and then wham!

I had another strange dream last night. Scary, too. My dad, brother, and I were outside. He was was manning the weed-eater; Carlyn was just walking around; and I was toting something. Suddenly, my dad said, "Look!" In an orange sky was Jesus, holding a sword and coming down at a high rate of speed. I woke up. Bethany's dream about Jesus beats mine, though:

Beef917: I had this dream...
Beef917: that we were at the water park...
Beef917: and the electricity went out
Beef917: and my mom was gathering all of us
Beef917: cuz she said when that happened
Beef917: Jesus was gonna come
Beef917: so...
Beef917: down the road came an old beat up baby blue limo
Beef917: and I got in...
Beef917: and Jesus was driving and wearing a turban
Beef917: and I was about to ask him
Beef917: "so Jesus, where are we going"?
Beef917: then it was over
Beef917: I think that was the weirdest dream I've ever had

Bethany is about as sophisticated as me. I'll come to my computer in the morning and find messages such as...

Beef917: (o Y o)
Beef917: Hope you have a good day brain!

Beef917: brain!
Beef917: i called Ms Cleo and she told me who the mon of my dreams is.
Beef917: i love you, 'unny

Beef917 (3:44:01 AM): i have to go the the doctor's in 6 hrs
Auto response from bri270 (3:44:01 AM): sleeping
Beef917 (3:44:22 AM): I feel like I'm talking to the dog from inspector gadget
Beef917 (3:45:12 AM): I see a little sillouette of a man
Beef917 (3:45:19 AM): scala moosh scala moosh...
Beef917 (3:45:44 AM): will you do the.....something...
Beef917 (3:47:03 AM): we go together like ramalamalma ding di duh ding di dong.
Beef917 (3:49:16 AM): how long do you sleep?