Jennifer and I went out on a date last night. I picked her up at home. We had some time to kill, so we went to On-Cue for a little browsing. Later at Pizza Hut we basically received everything free of charge. So, that was good. Katie was working there and waited on us. We still hadn't fully decided what movie to see when we arrived at the theater. We ended up choosing Little Nicky, which wasn't very good. But, there wasn't much of a selection at our rinky-dink theater. The date went fine, and we had fun, but nothing's there. It was like dating my best friend, which I basically was doing. Oh well. I'm glad I found this out now instead of later.

For those who say, "Of course she didn't want to go out again. You spent little money and took her to crappy places," I say this: Why in the world would I want to be with a girl who chooses to be with me because I spend lots of money on her? Arranged marriages and strategic match-making are over. I want someone for love, not financial stability.

To every woman who searches for men to keep her life filled with shiny, blinky, beepy, speedy, curvy, trendy expensive things: find some integrity, and add dignity, intellect, and awareness to your life.

They were put on this morning. They don't hurt much at all. I can't speak very well, though. My Ss are especially messed up. The worst thing is food; it's very difficult to eat. I'm already looking forward to these things coming off.

Since I posted the entry before last, I've been thinking. Is it natural for women to search for men with wealth? Humans and other animals naturally seek out mates that are healthy. Perhaps it's in our biology to find mates who are also secure and healthy in other ares of life. A woman may want a rich man with wavy hair and a large penis over a man with low assets, a bald spot, and your average six inches.

Does anyone know of research related to this? Please send a piece of e-mail my way.

I’ve done all I know to do.

Despite your words of interest, I know this way for all is best. And years from now when we reflect on the time gone by and people met, the ones we knew behind locked fenses, grasping them with molded senses, will all be gone and left behind, only to live in our minds.

Did they exist, and do they now? If so, I wonder where and how.

It's fun! You get to stay out of school and throw up, snort, cough out pieces of yourself, and die inside a little. Seriously though, I'm very sick and actually would rather be in school.

I've been in a strange place recently, and I don't mean the library. I've been "depressed" and severely confused about my life, and life in general, I think. I have no idea where it's going. I stopped going to school this semester. I haven't told anyone, and I don't think any of my "real life" friends read this. I've been very sick and missed a lot of class, but truthfully that's not the only reason. I'm lacking something, probably many somethings.

If you can't tell, I don't have answers right now, only questions. "Who do I want to be? How do I become that person? Why am I in school? Why this school? Am I an idiot? Good Lord, what should I do?" Ugh.

"I regret ___________." (Repeat until sleep)

Double ugh.